(not sure what the title is because I'm seriously blank)

I begin this post with a heart full of pure unsaid truth. Just because bottling it up for several months that lead to years is not healthy I may say.

"enough with all the crap" I told myself.

Clinging to the past that has been forgotten is nothing but quintessence of idiocy. I am in a quest to bring myself back to where I am of who I am. To that time of where I am certain of who I am, what kind of person I am. Courage is something I am lacking in. I do admit, I have a lot of nerve when it comes to getting the things I want, my way. This twisted tale seemed to be a pain in the ass. I can't seem to get myself to where I am independent, physically and emotionally. 

The mere image of 'me' that I have envision comes to mind whenever my mind starts to wander. This is excruciating to live with, and self-torturing when I vaguely knows what kind of person I was, before the whole catastrophe. 

What should I do? Where do I begin? I never had friends that saw me grew up from 10 years old to who I am now. I try not to include my parents into my personal crisis. They have full plate themselves. 

5 years of courtship has took up so much of my teenage life, I avoided my friends just to create void for him. I miss all the 'girls time' and I isolate myself from the crowd because I was head over heals, consumed whole-heartedly and engrossed by love. Or, what I thought it was. I am angry at myself for wallowing the history and dwelling on the history. Move on already. 

Then, I gave a lot of thought to this whole 'allowing-someone-comes-into-your-life-and-knocks-you-down-unannounced-thing'  and  it has got to stop. Like STAHP. 

Have a back up plan. What if that doesn't go with what you have in mind, or what favors your desire?  

So, ladies. 

Rule #1

No matter how affectionate you boyfriend is or how passionate he is, do not isolate yourself from your girlfriends. I know sometime girls can be a bit gnarly and bitchy I might add, but they are the ones you gonna turn your head to once that dick leave you. Trust me.

Rule #2

Do not certain the uncertainty.

This is simply because, when you're happy things can get way out of hand and the inside of you just can't stop barfing positivity. Yes, it is good. It makes you feel good, but not everyday is a brightly flamed  sunshine. Right?  Don't dive into the 'one true love myth'.

Rule #3

Be Powerful.

Don't be the girl who settles everything for her spouse or boyfriends. Because, men are unpredictable. Generally speaking. No offense, but its true. You know what I mean.

Rule #4 

Be Modest.

Regardless Men, Women or Transexual, everybody loves modesty and its hard to get. So be one. 

.....why am I giving rules? anyway, to end this article-long post, be nice. You never know what's gonna happen when things don't go your way, and move one with life. I need that too. 

xoxo

Zatty .