Non-germane

this post is going to be awful. (I'm gonna rave)

I hate letting out anger of something I've been keeping for a while. Even if its superfluous and non germane  to anybody in particular, I'm extremely disappointed.

Just the thought of it, convect negativity and I try to shield it. I try to not to cry now.

Just give me family. I need that now, not these bs.

goodnight.

Growth

What's about growth?

Looking back over my shoulder, I saw myself wallowing in the corner, how resentful I felt towards the world. How I conjure negativity and gives my consent towards it to reign my entire mind and soul. Then I compare with the present, how fast and quickly my self esteem escalated and climbed atop the walls that I created myself. What I experience was totally real and I'm lost in words how dreadful I felt about myself. Even though I am not wholly recovered but I can feel the shift and the drift.

I am dumbfounded by myself, to begin with. I no longer feel envious of his "achievement" nor hold grudges. Maybe I finally found the silver lining in this. Maybe I found how much I put up with everyone else and let myself being punched with what ever comes. I lost couple of friends and hey the world doesn't stop there. Find new friends. There's always someone somehow people meet. Also, I learn how to commute from place to place on my own. If I feel hollow and depression bund to sink in, I start writing. It heals.


2/3 of me is new. It feels good. Because I finally put myself before anyone else.

Um..Hello? Anyone?

Anyone?

Now whenever I go back to my hometown, the greatest chills hit my skin and I am consumed by humongous amount of negativity. That's mainly because everyone is still grieving upon the lost of my late grandmother. (Al-Fatihah) 

I can feel everyone is growing up so fast, and everyone is moving out day by day. My mother ask me, Ija are you considering migrating to another country when you're older?

Wow, mother. I've never thought you would even ask me these questions. However, I actually did consider working or settling in another country. Just that something about that question weakens my desire to grow up. Maybe I sorta get the traces of loneliness that my mum has. I don't know. 

To add to the already melancholic story that I'm telling you, my aunt, who's overly attached to my family, she was my chauffeur my babysitter and basically my second mom. is moving to Klang Valley. Well that only allows the situation become more gruesome. 

Everyone is growing up, and soon, no one is at home. 

I'm a family person. My parents are my priority. Although at times they don't get me, but they are the coolest parents ever. Trust me. 

"You only have several years to spend quality time with your children but you're busy keeping the family together and working at the same time. I wish I'd spent more time with my kids. Now they are all leaving, straying from home. It is sad. The house lost its 'shine'." - My mom.

On a another note..

I love you bond girls, I really do.

"Its better to light a candle than curse the darkness." -Eleanor Roosevelt.

 Its is true.

2.5 years of walking across the street alone, doing things from watching a movie to prom dance alone, celebrating celebrations such as new year's and birthday feeling lonely. I think its time that I search for someone to share and bestow my trust. I'll walk the earth with him from the day I found him and for the rest of my life. 

Bah, humbug!

Oral test

Last weekend, i enjoyed every single minute of my day. Well, i spent most of it with my baby sister. She told me about her oral and she said it was melancholic and pretty boring. Instead she told me about one of her close friend Danny and some other girls' oral and its hilarious. It reminded me of my final year. Talking about everything despite the frontiers, we basically talked about everything whether its dirty or not. Well most of the time, its dirty.

So danny and her friends pretended that they were some famous artist. A Justin Bieber, a Nicki Minaj  , a P!nk and a Taylor swift. They pretended that they were the host of this famous primetime talk show.

Scene 1: Are you Gay?

A fan(audience = classmates) : hey justin are you gay?

Justin : its 11.30 am and ... I AM GAY!!!

Nicki Minaj (Danny is Nicki and in real life she's a hardcore belieber) : but justin, i thought you replied one of your fans saying you love them. She's nice tho, what her name? Yeah! Da.. Dar.. Darneesha?

Justin : oh yeah. Hi darneesha, right? Its justin here and I want to say .. Move on.

Scene 2: Book review on 50 shades of grey.

Emcee : so today we are going to discuss about 50 shades of Grey. There are some disadvantages and advantages. Bla bla bla...
(Convo cont'd)

Exhibit 1 : parents lie too.

Daughter( Yaya) : daddy, where does baby come from?

Dad(danny): well you see  honey, when a man and women falls in love, there's a fairy come knocking at their front door and give baby.

Daughter: so I am adopted ?

Dad: Yes.

Exhibit 2: You can't be too honest with kids.

Daughter: dad where does baby come from?

Dad: VAGINA.


And there's other continuation to that oral. Awh man I miss high school and the sketches that we love to play. Not only its fun but its hilarious.

Danny, i wanna marry your brain. Opst sorry joyah, i still love you.

I better get to sleep.
Goodnight

The most meaningful video ever.

just watch.