assalamualaikum.

before I begin with this post , I would like to wish salam ramadhan and may god bless you.

This post is dedicated to the person I dearly adore, Mohamed Ashnor.

Along the way , these years we've know each other, through ups and down, winter or summer, rain or fire, no matter how much it hurts I'm just glad I found you. I know we are not like we used to, "zashnor" as we used to call it. Do I want that back? Absolutely. I love being in love, but with you, its a whole another level. But I know sometimes, things get in our way and I have to cry myself to sleep, lie to myself "I've moved on" while Im not, pretending that I'm alright while you are communicating with others and not me. It fucking hurts Ash. It does. But I'm doing this because I love you. I love you too much that I have to stop, stop toturing you because we weren't allowed to be together, and that had cause me a severe heart break and so do you. You think I love the fact that I don't get to see you, you think I love the fact that I don't get to hold you like I used to? You were a huge part of my life ash, every single thing I tell you, no one else but you! I am tremendously sad that I can't have you like I used to.  Ending a relationship is hard but loosing a friend? That is something I just can't get enough of. If we aren't meant to be together, sooner or later I'll get through it butjust want you in my life, as a friend , the least I could ask for.





I'm just... dissapointed with myself, with all this. Im just don't know what to say and what should I say. This love I have for you is huge, I can't seem to let it go. I know I did stupid things, say harsh suff to you, I apologize. Im sorry if that's what I have to do to be your friend.


I'm not holding to the past, I'm just holding to those I value, like you.